JXHQ: Pros and Cons
by thechokesonyou
Summary: (Nolanverse.) This is a oneshot continuation in the universe of my other story Square One, told from the Joker's perspective. It's been only over a month since Harley has been living with the Joker. This oneshot is filled with the Joker internalizing about having Harley at home with him. (SMUT.) Reviews are great, flames are not.


_**March 16th, 2:06 am. **_

Six dead men and I still didn't come home with even close to enough of the TNT I needed. I was starting to get fed up. These jobs hadn't been going as well since I escaped the looney-bin, and while I knew _I _was obviously not the problem, it seemed my men had gotten a little out of the game while I was away. As we entered the old hide-away, an abandoned fire department building on the outskirts of the Narrows, I growled to the men behind me, "You're lucky as _hell _I didn't just throw you all in front of the firing squad back there. I _hired _you to do a good _fucking _job and, uh… This is what I get? Heh, heh." I scratched my temple with the still warm barrel of my gun before aiming it at my closest henchmen and sending a round of bullets into his head. I didn't bother looking at him as I walked towards the staircase that would lead me to my makeshift bedroom.

One of them sighed behind me and I heard a very dejected voice mutter, "You get the legs, I'll get the arms."

"Why do I always get the legs?"

"You wanna be this close to that meatsack of a head? Be my guest." The other guy sniffed haughtily. My eyes rolled in irritation. _Morons. _I kicked the door open without a second thought and then grimaced when I saw that Harley was already sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

"Baby? What happened?"

"What do you _mean, _what happened?" I grumbled, pulling off my coat which by now was splattered in unholy amounts of blood. _I hope those stains come out… _I'd _finally _gotten my jacket back and now it was a mess…

"I heard a gunshot. Are you okay?"

I gave her a look over my shoulder, my expression one of, _Really? You think _I _got shot? _"_Hmph,_" I muttered. "Just a little disciplinary action, sweetheart." I was still getting used to this whole 'living with a woman' complex. The pros and cons list I'd been making in my head was too long to even remember most of the stuff by now. _Pro: She cleans your suit. Con: She asks too many questions… Pro: You can't ever find your socks without her. Con: She's insatiable in _so many _ways. _I quirked a smile at that last one as I walked into the bathroom, loosening my tie. Well… _That _one could be considered a pro _or _a con. Aha.

"How'd the job go?" She asked sweetly and I heard the blankets ruffling as she climbed out of bed. _Con. _

"I don't feel like talking about it," I grumbled, tossing my tie on the floor behind me. I was leaving a string of clothes as I made my way to the connecting bathroom where there was a line of showers for the old firemen to use when off the job. She quickly grabbed my tie before it landed on the ground and smoothed it out, hanging it up on the rack behind the door. _Pro… _

She anxiously licked her lips and I knew she was trying to think of something she could do for me or some way she could get my attention. "Want me to fix you a drink, Mistah J? I can tell you're stressed."

As I unbuttoned the final few buttons on my shirt and let it fall behind me, I gave her another silencing look before slowly walking towards her. Her breath hitched and she backed up, both of us moving at the same pace until she hit the counter with a _thunk. _I leaned over her, pressing my hands into the mirror on either side of her and she leaned back, her shoulders touching the glass as she stared up at me with wide eyes. "You know what I _really _want right now, doll face?" She shook her head and I sighed, licking my lips and smacking my teeth. "For _you _to _fuck off _and let me _shower._" Harley squeaked in fear.

"Yes, sir."

Giving her a tight smile, I said softly, "Good girl." I stepped back and as she turned to leave the room, I sent a hard smack into her bottom, making her jump at the force. She rubbed it with a frown marring her features and then paused. I wanted to groan loudly. _What now?! _She turned back to look at me as I removed my belt and I noted the mischievous glint in her big blue eyes. "What, Harley?" I asked firmly.

"I guess you wouldn't be in the mood for… Me to join you?" She asked, biting down on her full bottom lip. _Con. Con. Con. Con. _But then again…

A slow smirk rose up on my lips and I laughed under my breath. "You know what, Harley?" I asked as I let my eyes roll over her body. She was only wearing a t-shirt and her panties and as irritated and upset as I felt… Maybe Harley could be a good way to get all that out… Haha! "Why not?" She grinned and rushed back in, wasting no time in lifting her shirt over her head. She was about to lean up and kiss me, press her chest against mine, but I stopped her with a hand resting on the base of her throat. "In the shower. Now."

"Sure thing, Daddy," She said, her voice naughty on so many levels. _Pro… _She left her panties slide down her thighs and I watched as she bent over in the mirror, grinning when I saw the light red handprint on her right cheek. My handiwork. She went into the first shower stall and cranked the water on, jumping slightly when it hit her skin. Once my pants were removed, I turned around to look at her and raised one eyebrow.

"Cold?" I asked, staring lecherously at her breasts.

She giggled and stepped under the water, letting it cascade down her skin as she rose her own hands to cup them softly. "Come feel for yourself, puddin." I wasn't sure when that nickname had started, but at the moment the only thought going through my mind was _slut. Desperate. Nymphomaniac! _And for some reason that pleased my on a carnal level. When I dropped my boxers, she gasped, though she'd seen me naked many times. I remembered that first day in Arkham when she'd felt me, her soft, sultry voice gasping and moaning, _You're so big. _When I stepped into the shower, I yanked the curtain closed and grabbed hold of her tightly, backing her into the wall as she panted, her hands pawing at me. My cock was already hard and impatient, keen to feel the wetness of her insides and while I cursed myself for that weakness, the other half of me was beastial in how fast I lifted one of her thighs to circle my hips while I positioned my head at her soft, warm opening. I didn't bother with any distracting silliness and instead pushed in with no hesitation, earning a rough, strangled moan from the object of my lust. My thrusts were fast and focused, quick in bringing us to the pinnacle of our pleasure and Harley moaned against my neck like a whore while I fucked her into the wall. "Oh, yeah, Daddy…" She groaned as I hit that _spot _inside of her and she jerked so nicely against me. Her breasts pushed hard against my chest, nipples firm and hard and aroused, rubbing against my own, her skin slick and breath suffocatingly hot. I had a love-hate relationship with our entwinement and those mixed feelings only drove me closer and closer to my end.

"_My _Harley…" I growled into her ear as I pounded deeper into her tight, velvet sex. "_My _pussy…"

"Yes… Yes…" She gasped over and over until finally I felt her tightening around me, strangling my cock and I let my head fall back in pleasure at the contractions.

"_Good girl…_" I moaned, fucking her harder in response to the resistance of her cunt. Her moans were loud and obscene like a pornstar acting out an orgasm and I laughed loudly. She really was pure pornography, in bed or out. When I felt my own climax swooping down to take over, I grunted and buried myself as deep into her tight snatch as possible, giving a few hard little thrusts into her cervix as I emptied myself into her womb. When I finished, I slid out and she relaxed against the wall, gasping and recovering, watching me with hooded eyes.

"That was good, Daddy…"

Giving her a look over my shoulder, I said, "Of course it was." She left then with nothing more than her hands sliding across my shoulders and I tilted my head back, letting the water pressure wash away the remains of my makeup, the greasepaint staining the water beneath me. When I looked down to see the colors swirling together, I wiggled my toes in it before sighing loudly.


End file.
